Wednesday, May 31, 2006

An' the livin' is easy...

"Summer afternoon- summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language." -Henry James

Winter barges in with a snowstorm, then leaves for a bit, then returns and overstays its welcome. Spring wavers in and out with nice days and rainy days and the refusal to make the world green soon enough. But summer- summer just glides in, right on time for Memorial Day barbeques.

I've been spending my time honoring its arrival, with walks, fruits, beers, canoeing, and just hanging out. It's an intense combination of activities, specifically designed to maximize appreciation for the heat and greenness of the outside world.

As much as I love New York, I am also soaking in being in the country. My friend's mom told me she was surprised I was living in the city, and as I went to respond, I realized I was too. We were talking outside after just having walked up from the lake, and the air smelled fresh, and for a second I wondered what the hell I was thinking dwelling amidst all those buildings. But, as she and I concluded, everything is a trade-off. So now I trade for six months in the country... we shall see.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Diplodocus




I told Adam who told Paul who emailed it to
Overheard in New York, so here you go... dinosaur disbelief is now famous.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Death of a Goldfish


Dust in the Wind

Crinkle has left one bowl for another.

As his life is flushed away, let us reflect fondly on his brief sojourn in a bepebbled orb in the living room. Crinkle was hardly able to use his three seconds of memory in his short, sweet life. But he swam well & died bravely. Not long for this earthly world, we can only thank him for making our days a little more golden... if only for a moment, then the moment's gone.

In lieu of donations, Adam has placed a note in Crinkle's bowl that states: Gone Fishin?

Friday, May 19, 2006

All mimsy were the borogroves...


To go along with yesterday's bird theme, I happened to look at this, a work in progress by David Troupes called The Renaming of the Birds. I liked it yesterday, but since looking at it my appreciation has only grown to the point that I keep reflecting on it & I think I will start calling pigeons "brave ladyfriends" and bluejays "noisy blue jerks."

Have you ever thought about what you would name things if you were assigned naming responsibilities? That's a weighty task. I think names are hugely powerful. I don't believe a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet- if roses were called grackles, they would not enjoy the popularity they have today. Peonies would have surpassed them a long time ago. I also think politicians usually win based on who has the better name. Seriously.

Sincerely,
Hortense D. Terwilliger

Thursday, May 18, 2006

True Life Story


A couple of weeks ago Steph, Julie, and Julie's parents met an elderly woman while waiting to cross the street in New York City. This lady, well-dressed and leaning on a cane, turned to this amenable crowd to say, "Is there something on my back?"
Unfortunately for this individual, some fresh bird droppings had come to adorn her black jacket.
"Eww, yes... but it's not too much," replied Julie's mom.
"Yes," said Steph, in a cheery voice. "It looks like a bird had its way with you!"

The walking signal clicked on, and the old lady got a strange look on her face as she replied. "That's one way of putting it."

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Fuck Betsy Ross


This NY Times article, about a trip around the world in 90 days, brought to mind Nellie Bly, a reporter who took a trip around the world in 72 days in the year of 1889. Nellie Bly is the kind of female historical figure we should have learned about but didn't, because history books were too busy going on about Betsy Ross (how many times can you go over the fact that she sewed the flag (unless it was Frances somebody or another- BIG controversy!)? who cares?). Anyway, Nellie Bly is a different story... I learned on wikipedia (not in those Betsy-Ross-loving history textbooks) that she got her journalism career started at 18 (in the 1880s, when there were few women in that type of work, and when she had to use a pen name, as a woman's name in the newspaper wasn't socially acceptable) when she wrote a response to a sexist editorial which proclaimed girls were only good for getting married and raising children. Her response, which she signed "Lonely Orphan Girl" was published in the newspaper. She met with the newspaper editor as a result, and told him she wanted to write articles about ordinary people, and got the job.

As a result of those pieces, advertising was pulled from the newspaper and they then tried to reassign her to fluffier things- she refused, and went to Mexico and wrote about politics and the like there for 6 months, until she was thrown out of that country. She eventually ended up in New York, and wrote a piece on going undercover in a lunatic asylum that caused a grand jury investigation and provoked an additional million dollars funding. The piece was called "Ten Days in a Mad House," published in 1888. You can re
ad it here (complete with an advertisement for Madame Mora's corsets), it's really intriguing and also horrifying. Here's an excerpt:

I always made a point of telling the doctors I was sane, and asking to be released, but the more I endeavored to assure them of my sanity, the more they doubted it. 'What are you doctors here for?' I asked one, whose name I cannot recall. 'To take care of the patients and test their sanity,' he replied. 'Very well,' I said. 'There are sixteen doctors on this island, and, excepting two, I have never seen them pay any attention to the patients. How can a doctor judge a woman's sanity by merely bidding her good morning and refusing to hear her pleas for release? Even the sick ones know it is useless to say anything, for the answer will be that it is their imagination.' 'Try every test on me,' I have urged others, 'and tell me am I sane or insane? Try my pulse, my heart, my eyes; ask me to stretch out my arm, to work my fingers, as Dr. Field did at Bellevue, and then tell me if I am sane.' They would not heed me, for they thought I raved. The insane asylum on Blackwell's Island is a human rat-trap. It is easy to get in, but once there it is impossible to get out.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Ah horsefeathers!

I'm not trying to just beat my gums here when I tell you that life is feeling copacetic as I'm about to get a wiggle on out of this joint... that's right- I'm giving work the bum rush. Come Friday I'll be donning my glad rags and slurping some giggle water. Time to get spifflicated and live like an egg before I return to school and this tomato turns into a pill; a regular Mrs. Grundy.



Slang of the 1920's

Applesauce- an expletive same as horsefeathers, As in "Ah applesauce!"
Balled Up - confused, messed up
Bank's Closed - no kissing or making out - i.e. - "Sorry, Mac, the bank's closed."
Bearcat - a hot-blooded or fiery girl
Beat one's gums - idle chatter
Bee's Knees - An extraordinary person, thing, idea; the ultimate
Beeswax - business, i.e. None of your beeswax."
Berries - That which is attractive or pleasing; similar to bee's knees, As in "It's the berries."
Bird - general term for a man or woman, sometimes meaning "odd," i.e. "What a funny old bird."
Bum's rush - ejection by force from an establishment
Carry a Torch - To have a crush on someone
Cash - a kiss
Cat's Meow - Something splendid or stylish; similar to bee's knees; The best or greatest, wonderful.
Cat's Pajamas - Same as cat's meow
Check - kiss me later
Copacetic - Wonderful, fine, all right
Dapper - a Flapper's dad
Darb - An excellent person or thing (as in "the Darb" - a person with money who can be relied on to pay the check)
Don't know from nothing - don't have any information
Don't take any wooden nickels - Don't do anything stupid
Drugstore Cowboy - a guy that hangs around on a street corner trying to pick up girls
Dumb Dora - a stupid female
Egg - a person who lives the big life
Fire extinguisher - a chaperone
Flat Tire - A dull witted, insipid, disappointing date. Same as pill, pickle, drag, rag, oilcan
Get a wiggle on - get a move on, get going
Giggle Water - An intoxicating beverage; alcohol
Glad rags - "going out on the town" clothes
Goofy - in love
Hair of the Dog - a shot of alcohol
Handcuff - an engagement ring
Hard Boiled - a tough, strong guy
Horsefeathers - an expletive ; same usage as applesauce
Hotsy - Totsy - Pleasing
Jack - money
Jake - OK, as in , "Everything is Jake."
Jalopy - Old car
Jane - any female
Java - coffee
Juice Joint - a speakeasy
Mrs. Grundy - A priggish or extremely tight-laced person
"Now you're on the trolley!" - Now you've got it, now you're right!
Orchid - an expensive item
Ossified - a drunk person
Palooka (1) a below-average or average boxer (2) a social outsider, from the comic strip character Joe Palooka
Piker - (1) a cheapskate (2) a coward
Pill - (1) a teacher (2) an unlikable person
Rag-a-muffin - a dirty or disheveled individual
Real McCoy - The genuine article
Ritzy - Elegant (from the hotel)
Rubes - money or dollars
Sap - a fool
Sheba - A woman with sex appeal (from the move Queen of Sheba) or (e.g. Clara Bow)
Sheik - A man with sex appeal (from the Valentino movies)
Spifflicated - Drunk. The same as canned, corked, tanked, primed, scrooched, jazzed, zozzled, plastered, owled, embalmed, lit, potted, ossified or fried to the hat
Spiffy - An elegant appearance
Stuck On - Having a crush on
Swanky - Ritzy
Tomato - a female
Wet Blanket - a solemn person, a killjoy

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Leave it at, Leaving the Wild


I've been mulling over this New York Times article, Leaving the Wild, and Rather Liking It, all day. It's an amazing thing to reflect on:
SAN JOSÉ DEL GUAVIARE, Colombia — Since time immemorial the Nukak-Makú have lived a Stone Age life, roaming across hundreds of miles of isolated and pristine Amazon jungle, killing monkeys with blowguns and scouring the forest floor for berries.
But recently, and rather mysteriously, a group of nearly 80 wandered out of the wilderness, half-naked, a gaggle of children and pet monkeys in tow, and declared themselves ready to join the modern world.
....
The Nukak have no concept of money, of property, of the role of government, or even of the existence of a country called Colombia. They ask whether the planes that fly overhead are moving on some sort of invisible road.

They have no government identification cards, making them nonentities to Colombia's bureaucracy.
...
Are they sad? "No!" cried a Nukak named Pia-pe, to howls of laughter. In fact, the Nukak said they could not be happier. Used to long marches in search of food, they are amazed that strangers would bring them sustenance — free.

What do they like most? "Pots, pants, shoes, caps," said Mau-ro, a young man who went to a shelter to speak to two visitors.
Ma-be added, "Rice, sugar, oil, flour." Others said they loved skillets. Also high on the list were eggs and onions, matches and soap and certain other of life's necessities.
"I like the women very much," Pia-pe said, to raucous laughs.
I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to enter a civilization as wacky as our own in 2006. Reading about the fact that these newcomers love skillets makes me want to drop everything and move to that town in Colombia to meet them and ask- what is so great about skillets?

However, the Nakuk-Maku peoples sudden decision to leave their previous lives and lifestyle
behind is strange. After all, it couldn't be more different- their old lifestyle involved living deep in the forest with virtually no possessions, moving every few days. The New York Times states it is unclear why they decided to leave, and mentions the possibility of the drug war pushing them out. However, a quick look on the Internet about the issue brought up many articles that portray the Nakuk as refugees. For example, an article on Survival International called Nomads killed, and others flee as fighting rages, serves as a negation of the optimistic tone of the Times article concerning the Nakuk's situation. The United Nations website has this to say:

...In a related development, the UN issued the latest in a series of warnings today that Colombia’s indigenous communities are threatened with extinction because of the country’s four decades of civil conflict and the violence associated with the cocaine drug trade.

The Nukak Maku’s population has declined by almost 60 per cent in the last 20 years and today they number less than 500 members, of whom more than half have been forcibly displaced from their homes, the UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA) said.

The Nukak, who live in small nomadic groups of six to 30 and speak only their own language, have fallen victim to malaria and flu since their first contact with outsiders in 1988, and now their lands have been occupied by coca growers and parties to the conflict.

So now I am left feeling depressed, for the threatened Nakuk population, and regarding the Times' oversimplified, overly upbeat, reporting on the Nakuk, which is, incidentally, the most emailed article of today.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

How Opal Mehta Fell From Grace



I read "How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life," just because I can't believe a Harvard student was stupid enough to plagiarize from numerous currently popular sources to create this bestseller, that has now been pulled off the shelves for that very reason. The author, Kaavya Viswanathan, now a sophomore at Harvard, stole entire paragraphs- changing only the name of the characters or small details- from Megan McCaffrey's coming of age series. Unfortunately for this student, it was the Harvard newspaper that broke this story, and it was picked up everywhere else. Anyway the similarities to a few different written works have been extensively discussed, but I haven't heard much of anything about the fact that she stole scenes and plot points from Tina Fey's movie, Mean Girls. In the book, just like the movie, a clueless but pretty girl enters the upper echelon of high school society, by joining into a false friendship with 3 mean (2 blondes, 1 other) but ever so popular girls with their own set of grooming rules- you can only wear your hair down, etc (the girls are called the Haute Bitchez, in the plagiarized version, the Plastics in Mean Girls). The scene in which one of the mean girls complements a wannabe on an item of clothing, then disses it when it she walks away, is in both the movie and the book, as is the clueless girl wearing a tight dress at her own party. Also, the idea that the clueless girl messes up things with her true crush by becoming popular is a major part of the plot in both, and the link between one of the other popular girls and that crush. So anyway, it's quite obvious that the author stole from the movie, and she even mentions the movie itself and Lindsey Lohan in her book. So why isn't this such an issue as are all the instances of taking the scenes from books? Are movies not respected as creative property in the same way as novels, or are they not subject to the same copyright laws?

Monday, May 08, 2006

Let them eat cake

It's always nice when people acknowledge your birthday, but it was a little odd to get an email from myself. If you go on futureme.org, you can write an email to be delivered to yourself sometime in the future. So, apparently, on June 10th of last year, I was sitting around with nothing to do, and wished myself a happy birthday for this year (I also told myself to buy something "on me"- what a dork). But anyway, even though it is tough to know what pronouns to use in addressing yourself, it is a cool idea. Users can also choose to make their emails public, so you can read how other people talk to themselves- it's a real mix, from those that berate, encourage, chide, belittle, or express sympathy to themselves. A lot of people tell themselves they hope they're not dead- which is counterintuitive if you ask me. Anyway, after reading a few public ones, this one was the best I stumbled across:
hey you! YOU BETTER BE A SWEET ASS NINJA BY NOW! AND BE TRAVELLING THE WORLD!!!

(written Fri Dec 23, 2005, to be delivered Sun Dec 31, 2006)
http://www.futureme.org/public.php?id=169228


Sunday, May 07, 2006

It's A Wonderful Pope

Has anyone else noticed a striking resemblance between the Pope and Clarence Oddbody (the hapless angel from It's a Wonderful Life (click on the link to see a 30 second version of the movie, with bunnies))? I realized this when the Pope was featured (first one below) as one of those odd pictures that some news places collect into a slideshow.
And, if I'm not mistaken, the Pope rings bells.
Hmmm.....

The Pope

Clarence (on left)


The Pope

Clarence

Friday, May 05, 2006

WWFSMD?


I have to link to this page, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, because it is hilarious, involves pirates, and because I find the design of the Flying Spaghetti Monster monstrously appealing, aesthetically. The Monster is just beautiful, and will definitely be making an appearance on October 31, 2006 in the guise of Me. Anyway, see excerpts below of the letter written by Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen, although you should read the whole thing on the webpage. This sentence "We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him" reminds me of my previous discussion on those who don't believe in dinosaurs.
I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel.

I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory. It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t.

You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Stiff Neck Girl


I woke up this morning with a terrible crick in my neck, and it persists. I have to avoid turning my head to the right. It goes a bit, hurts, then refuses to go any further. What a wimp! I tell my neck. You can do it! I say. Unfortunately my inspired peptalks are failing and I end up jerking my head in a Frankenstein-esque manner. The pills I took are also failing, and have left me sleepy beyond compare and wishing I could pull a George Costanza and curl up under my desk and nap. But instead, I ignore the painful stapeling (stapling?) "work" piling in my cubicle and write here.

I also googled my condition, which 9 times out of 10 is a bad idea, due to the fact that something scary comes up with everything. With the internet and a little imagination, a bruise can become thrombocytopenia. With this type of thinking I found I could have a subarachnoid hemorrhage, (which sounds like an underworld spider bleeding disease) or I could have slept on my neck wrong. Or, it could be a stapeling (stapling?) induced injury, which neglected to come up in my googling, but is pretty likely.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Back to life, back to reality...



Flying back into JFK airport after a lovely vacation in Vieques, Puerto Rico, I was pleased to realize I had missed not only my cat, roommate, and the plethora of New York food options, but also Manhattan itself. This first dawned on me as I watched from the sky as the sun set over the panorama of buildings, but it really hit home when I directed the cab driver to my apartment by saying, "drop me off towards the end- on the right side of the
street- you can just pull up right in front of those police officers arresting my neighbor. Thanks!"

Of course, New York City is also a bit of a shock after spending the week being roused by roosters, on a rural island similar in size, and in nothing else, to Manhattan. Vieques doesn't have one stop light, and, as of 2000, had 69.5 persons/km2, whereas Manhattan has 25,800 persons/km2. However, for a small, sparsely populated place, Vieques has a tumultous and interesting history, and an incredible amount of beauty (unfortunately, I can't even begin to describe the awesome-ness of the bioluminescent bay- you just have to go & see it for yourself).

Picture below is of a person making a snow-angel in water lit by dinoflagellates in the bioluminescent bay.

Vieques appears to be perched vicariously at the edge of more transformation- from a sleepy, affordable beach destination to a more crowded resort area. As of now there is plenty of tourism, with a range of hotels and restaurants to accomodate. However, a big W resort goes up in 2007, and ten years from now, the landscape may be unrecognizeable. After all, it's a cheap and easy flight away from New York, and it is just gorgeous. The reason resorts haven't taken over yet is because the Navy occupied Vieques until 2003. They used Vieques as a testing ground for bombs and the like, until the people of Vieques were able to protest enough to get them out. Their occupation left a large expanse of the island (about 2/3) unpopulated, and in general, slowed the tourism process back 40 or 50 years I'd say. So now plenty of land is available, which many Americans are buying up as I write, for time-shares, summer homes, retirement homes, and the like. Vieques natives are once again objecting. However, although the people of Vieques managed to get the Navy out, the American landbuyers may prove to be more difficult to overcome. When I was visiting there was a lot of anti-American-buyer graffiti in Vieques, asking Americans to take their money home, or simply stating "foreigners go home." This may intimidate some, but I think in the end, the place is just too pretty for its own good, and the land will go.

My hope is just that, as it develops, the pressure to change in an ecologically sound way also increases, and Vieques becomes a destination known for preserving a rural, environmentally-friendly character. With its wild horses, loud roosters, and large ex-Navy unpopulated areas, it distinguishes itself for its nature and its beaches-sans-high rises. As it grows in popularity that should continue to be a focus of its tourism, as it is of its beauty.


Speaking of change:
This is an article from the New York Times from March 2003 (when the Navy still occupied Vieques), and here is one from April 2006.